Dumb Lawsuits

This story really pains me to the deepest, darkest, nether regions of my soul not because of its effects on civil liberties or equal rights or all that political fluff. I was just saddened to learn that ladies are getting cheaper drinks than me. IS THERE NO GOD?!?!?

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For the most part, we’ve been trying to keep clear of Anna Nicole Smith because when a story like this gets into the media, it becomes a whirlpool that’s hard to swim your way out of. But when the judge blubbered during his decision regarding owernship of poor Anna’s lifeless body, we (like the judge [...]

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Suits like this really blow my stack because these people don’t realize the good things they have since they are so busy focusing on the negative. This guy has been recognized as Michael Jordan every day of his life and instead of using it to pick up chicks, get in bars for free or autograph [...]

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(Everybody sing along!) Take me out to the ball game. Take me out for some fun. Give me a free tote bag even though I’m a dude or I’ll call my attorney and have this place sued. It’s root, root, root for the plantiff. If we don’t win, it’s a shame. Cause it’s 1-2-3 million [...]

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Ahh, it’s in the air. Can you smell it? That’s right. It’s love. Sweet love. Sweet, sweet sueable love.

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