Dumb Lawsuits

A collection of some of the most ridiculous lawsuits ever to grace our courts.

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Entries from June 2007

Starbursted

June 30th, 2007

That’s right, Starburst. We’re on to your little game. Oh sure, you might have thought you could fool us with your colorful wrapping and your fruit juicy goodness, but the charade is over. Dear God Starburst, how do you sleep at night?

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DEATH…OF THE PANTS!

June 27th, 2007

It’s over…so sing along! Goodbye pants, we’ll miss you. So long pants, we hardly knew you. You came into our lives and gave us such hope. But you’ve gone and we feel like a dope. Be well fair pants. We’ll miss you.

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There Are No Winners, Only Losers

June 22nd, 2007

I’ve never understood why anyone would play the lottery. Sure there’s a chance slimmer than Nicole Ritchie’s abdomen that you’ll win the grand prize, but by the time you do, you’ve already spent more than double the amount you’ve won and you’re 99 years old, which means you’ll have about five minutes to spend $10,000,000 […]

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ATTACK…OF THE PANTS!!!

June 20th, 2007

(Second verse, same as the first) Pants, where would we be without you pants? Perhaps in the country of France with some guy named Lance who doesn’t believe in you, oh mighty pants. It’s our lives you enhance that makes us dance and thank our aunts for sending us some pants. PANTS!

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Bubble Trouble

June 17th, 2007

Remember when you were a kid and you thought nothing could hurt you? Leave it to adults to rip the fun out of everything. If it weren’t for my parents, I could have become rich and famous with that homemade parachute I built when I was six.

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