Dumb Lawsuits

I know we said we weren’t going to cover the Roy Pearson pants lawsuit case anymore because giving such a man so much cyber-time seemed unreasonable and pointless (our hits were dropping every hour). But we’ve broken our promise for a good reason. We have some good news and it’s not about Pearson spilling mustard [...]

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Bars are just magnets for dumb lawsuits. People get plastered, do dumb things in them and then sue. It’s the circle, the circle of life.

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Where would be without cheerleading? Well, we wouldn’t have teenage high school cliques. We wouldn’t have low self-esteem in women everywhere. We wouldn’t have a reason to watch major league football. More importantly, we wouldn’t have stupid lawsuits like this.

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It’s officially over and I, for one, am sorry to see it go, mainly because I won’t get to do this anymore. (Sing along everybody!) Pants, we’ll miss you. Pants, we’ll kiss you (goodbye). You cover us so snuggly, whether you’re beautiful or ugly. Pants, we love you…always.

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I don’t pretend to know if there’s a God or not. That’s why I don’t kill, I don’t kicked puppies and I still capitalize his name just in case. I don’t know if he’s there, but if he is, I’m sure he could righteously kick my ass. That’s why I don’t envy this poor schmuck. [...]

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