Dumb Lawsuits

Come everybody! Sing along! Pants, where would we be without you pants? Perhaps in the country of France with some guy named Lance who doesn’t believe in you, oh mighty pants. It’s our lives you enhance that makes us dance and thank our aunts for sending us some pants. PANTS!

WASHINGTON (AP) - A customer who believes he was mistreated by a dry cleaner has dropped the pants from his suit.

Roy L. Pearson, who filed a $67 million lawsuit against the dry cleaning business that lost his pants, has lowered his demand. Now, he’s only asking for $54 million.

That’s right the judge has dropped his pants…lawsuit. Oh AP, you witty devils. If I had my druthers, you’d be replacing me and I hire some Vietnamese hit men to take me out “Deer Hunter” style for not being as witty as you. I’m blowing you a kiss.

According to the story, the judge is now claiming the dry cleaners acted fraudulently when they put up signs in their store that read “Satisfaction guaranteed” and “Same Day Service.” I wonder if he can also sue the owners for flipping him a certain hand sign.

The trial is scheduled to start on June 11, so we’ll be keeping a close eye on this trial. I’ve got a new version of the pants song that will just knock your socks (and possibly your pants) right off.