Dumb Lawsuits

When I was a little bitty kid, there was nothing on this scarier than a 6 foot tall mouse that brought you pizza. Sure pizza was your favorite food, but the mouse always had that huge evil smile on his face and you know pizza was just being used as bait to lure you into his freezer as an appetizer of his own. Apparently, I’m not the only one scarred for life by the giant mangy one.

NEW YORK, NY (New York Post) — A 4-year-old boy’s summer outing to a Chuck E. Cheese restaurant turned into a nightmare when he was attacked by a swarm of insects and landed in the hospital unconscious, a new lawsuit claims.

Kimberly Halpern told The Post that she took her only son, Austin, to the Chuck E. Cheese on South Avenue in Staten Island in June 2005.

 

The boy was playing a video game, fell to his knees and cried out, “Mommy, my face is burning,” she said.

Man, the bees are getting tough. They must really want Skeeball tickets…or else.

The mother claims she filed the suit because her son received a total of 25 stings to his face, not only causing injuries serious enough to be taken to the emergency room, but also psychological injuries that has caused an irrational fear of Chuck-e-Cheese. So if he’s afraid of Chuck-e-Cheese, that means she won’t have to take him to get him to stop throwing a temper tantrum five days a week and she won’t have to shell out his entire college savings so he can play “Mortal Kombat” and he won’t develop heart disease, diabetes and an extreme case of lard ass from all the processed ingredients in their pizza. She shouldn’t be suing them. She should be thanking them.

She brought a suit against the restaurant and the mall housing the restaurant. Store officials said they offered to pay her hospital bills, but she refused and threatened instead to sue. Of course, the mother’s within her rights. After all, they only offered to pay the bill in arcade tokens.