Dumb Lawsuits

Every blogger’s patron saint, “The Smoking Gun,” is finding themselves facing the smoking end of the gun for once.

Every now and then when they aren’t publishing court affidavits about Tom Cruise threatening to sue anyone who says scientology is one Kool-Aid mass suicide from becoming a cult (don’t sue us) or how Nick Lachey is fighting to retake custody of his balls from Jessica Simpson, they run a series of mugshots, a Miss America of the incarcerated, dubbed their “Foxy Felons.”

In 2002, they included one Cindy Hicks who was busted in Rockland County, New York for selling $400 worth of Ecstacy to an undercover cop. TSG picked up her cute mug and slapped it on their website along with a bevy of other behind bars beauties. She might be a drug dealer, but she’s the finest one I’ve ever seen and that’s saying a lot.

She accepted a plea deal for her crime and now she’s being released early on community supervision. She caught wind of the picture and hired a lawyer who is threatening to sue if her picture is not taken down because certain people (horny guys who have the entire first season of ‘Star Trek’ memorized but are too broke to afford the subscription to a premium porn web site) are masturbating to it.

You can read the whole sordid details here where they also have her picture. I’m not going to post it here because the last two things I need are (1) someone who wakes me up every morning by kicking me real hard in the crotch and (2) a similar lawsuit. Plus, I don’t want people masturbating to my website. Go buy a Hustler, cheapo.