Dumb Lawsuits

There’s dumb lawsuits and then there’s DUMB lawsuits. Ok, when I said DUMB the second time, I said it really long and low. You can’t tell because it’s a line of text and not the tones of a real human voice. Damn you technology, you win again.

New York (Reuters) – It’s a case of Madison Avenue versus Penniless Lane. A Manhattan antique shop owner’s lawsuit against hobos who camp in front of his store is generating debate about what to do with New York’s homeless, many of whom spend winter nights on the street.

Karl Kemp, owner of the posh Karl Kemp & Associates Antiques, Limited on Madison Avenue, sued three men and a woman for $1-million (R7,12-million) earlier this month, alleging they scare away customers when they drink alcohol, urinate and warm themselves above a heating duct in front of his shop.

Kemp’s suit, filed in state Supreme Court, also seeks an order to keep them 30m away.

She sued some homeless people for money. How does she expect them to repay her? With some dumpster vegetabels and a case of Thunderbird?

Advocates for the homeless criticized the woman for reacting too quickly and not trying to get them into social service programs. I’m sure the rich woman just looked at them and heard cash registers ringing, yet another oxymoron in this twisted tale.

But Kemp has got some advocates of her, namely the New York Post (motto: headlines are more important if they have the word “headless” or “topless” in them). According to the story, they wrote, “We’re no fans of frivolous lawsuits. But kudos to Kemp.” They then announced that Joan Collins was caught making to love to three midgets in her backyard pool during a Cub Scout Jamboree that took place in a completely different state.