Dumb Lawsuits

(Everybody sing along!) Take me out to the ball game. Take me out for some fun. Give me a free tote bag even though I’m a dude or I’ll call my attorney and have this place sued. It’s root, root, root for the plantiff. If we don’t win, it’s a shame. Cause it’s 1-2-3 million you’ll be out for that old ball game.

SANTA ANA (Orange County Register) – A judge tossed out a sex and age discrimination lawsuit Thursday against Angels baseball that claimed thousands of men and juveniles were wronged during a promotional giveaway at a Mother’s Day game.

The gift – a red nylon tote bag – was offered free only to women age 18 and older.

Orange County Superior Court Judge Jonathan Cannon ruled in a summary judgment that the tote bag freebie was not discriminatory against men and that the “Family Sunday” event in 2005 was a way to honor mothers.

That’s right, what a shame, not having a X chromosome for a stupid tote bag is such a crock. After all, women have the right to vote now. Giving them a tote bag is crossing a line.

The plantiff was asking for $4,000 a person who didn’t receive a bag for civil rights violations. Did I mention this was a FREE tote bag? How much emotional distress can a tote bag cause? I could put the tote bag over someone’s head and try to suffocate them with it, and it wouldn’t equal the same amount of pain.

Of course, the Angels caved to his demands before the thing even went to trial giving him four free tote bags. But this wasn’t just about the tote bag. This was about all men who’ve been wronged and discriminated against over the years. This about all the men who’ve been treated as unequals. This is about…OK, it’s about the damn tote bag.