The dumb suit well is running a little dry today, but luckily we’ve found 10 of them that another site compiled. All we have to do is link to them and our work is done and we can go back to watching “Ghost Hunters” in our underpants.
Thanks to Legalzoom.com for compiling the list and making our jobs that much easier. Here’s some of our favorites:
Two Ohio men sued the maker of a carpet adhesive after a jug of the stuff started a large fire because they left it next to a hot water heater. They claim the warning label that contained the word “flammable” wasn’t a big enough warning. They won and now all carpet adhesive canisters containing the warning, “Makes fire go boom boom.”
A man sued Anheiser-Busch because he didn’t seem to be having as much fun as the people in the beer commercials after drinking their product. Something tells me he’s had a lot of their product.
Of course, the number one suit came from the woman who sued McDonald’s after spilling a cup of coffee in her own lap. All hail to thee. We beseech thee for more dumb lawsuits so we might have something to write about. She demands a sacrifice! Interested parties should send a notice to sacrifices@dumb-lawsuits.com. Please put SACRIFICE in the subject line and include your name, address, phone number and how long you’ve been a virgin.
18 responses so far ↓
1 Kevin Fields // Nov 8, 2007 at 9:03 am
The McDonald’s lawsuit was not a dumb one. McDonald’s knowingly brewed their coffee much higher than industry standards required, causing severe burns if it was spilled on an individual, burns that would not have happened with their competitor’s coffee. They were warned by their own legal team that continuing to do so could result in a lawsuit such as this, and that the company COULD be held liable for any damages that resulted. McDonald’s management chose to ignore the fact that they were serving a dangerous product.
2 Brian // Nov 8, 2007 at 6:07 pm
Fuck you Kevin Fields. You sound like the kind of guy who would go into a grocery store, make sure no one is looking, fake a fall , then demand a million in “damages”. People (scum bag lawyers) like you make me want to puke.
3 Teaha // Nov 9, 2007 at 9:31 am
Kevin your a dumb ass. had you gotten the details of the case you would realize that not only was it a 74 year old woman but she put the cup of coffee between her knees while the car was moving. IDIOT!
4 Cheryl // Nov 10, 2007 at 2:52 pm
I agree with Kevin, the coffee was a lot hotter than what it should have been. They were told to have it fixed but they just ignored it, so it is their fault.
5 Sean McGee // Nov 11, 2007 at 12:47 pm
Speaking of Gap-toothed freaks (Kevin & Cheryl).
6 ratt // Nov 12, 2007 at 10:03 pm
well it not like the lady or in this case kevin and cheryl went to fuc*ing starbucks and got a iced coffee she went to mcD for a hot cup of coffee theres that word HOT so if the old lady burned her self wile driving then good for her you dont go some where and order something hot put it in ur lap drive and spill it and not know ur going to get burned
7 Merin Chacko // Nov 22, 2007 at 9:52 pm
Speaking of McDonalds… she should’ve just bought Tim Hortons!
8 Brien // Jan 17, 2008 at 1:35 am
So in other words, most of you idiots dont know what actually happened in the lawsuit with the McDonald’s cup of coffee huh?
http://www.stellaawards.com/stella.html
Check it out.
And no, I dont work for that website - I just hate when stupid people dont know the facts. (IE Mr “Ratt” there saying she was driving, et al).
9 Christi // Mar 12, 2008 at 2:05 pm
I agree with Brien, Kevin and Cheryl. McDonald’s should have been sued. There is no reason to have coffee so hot that you need skin grafts because of the burns. Obviously they didn’t need it that hot because since then they have reduced the temperature of their coffee. I personally wouldn’t want to have to wait half an hour for my coffee to cool to a degree that it could be drank.
10 Paul // Mar 16, 2008 at 3:05 am
So apparently, most of us “idiots” are the only ones who can cope with the plain and simple fact that coffee is–get this–hot! Brien, if you’d read the article on the web site that you don’t work for (why would we think you do anyway? and even if you do, so what?) it says that “The National Coffee Association recommends coffee be brewed at “between 195-205 degrees Fahrenheit for optimal extraction” and drunk “immediately”. Love it. The amount of money won doesn’t bother me (I’m sure McDonalds can afford it), but the sheer inaneness of the matter is that this elderly lady was given money for whining about something. I guess I’m just happy that there aren’t/weren’t that many cases against McDs for people’s own ineptness to use common sense when being a consumer. What’s next, people suing Dairy Queen for brain freezes because there was no warning on the cone? Please. Stop being a bunch of prissies and grow a pair. Shit happens. Deal with it. If you want to be an old bitch and sue for your own stupidity, well, that’s your problem, don’t make it someone elses (such as McDonalds). I know a guy who works for my local post office. He was sued because he was putting ice on the sidewalk, and when he went inside to go to the bathroom, some lady slipped on the (extremely apparent) ice and broke her ankle. This guy is reaching his mid 80s, has to paint on the side to pay bills, and probably wouldn’t hold a grudge against someone, even if they shot him. Unfortunately, the purse-dog-totting woman who sued him felt that he should pay for her fat ass (she weighs in the 200 lb. neighborhood) slipping on ice. In fact, here’s a GREAT idea!
Let’s get the whole world together, and sue mother nature for not having a strong enough o-zone layer! We’ll get some sharks in suits together to make sure mother nature knows that she’s in the wrong. If it wasn’t for Her poor ability to protect us from our own selves, we wouldn’t be in this horrific state of increased prices of everything. Damn that mother nature… Point taken?
+As a closing note, I’m not trying to defend McDonalds, their food tastes like a goat’s scrotum (that might even be too generous). I’m more directive towards the old hag that sued.
11 h8tank // Mar 19, 2008 at 9:55 am
Good point Paul. The Coffee Association does recommend that coffee be brewed at specific temperatures. Also, when ordering coffee (be it from McD’s, StarB’s, or elsewhere) is it not normally served HOT unless the server-person is told otherwise? Is it also not a given that, when served said coffee, it is NOT safe to immediately consume? Seriously folks, you can see the steam coming out of the cup! you know its hot– don’t drop it, spill it, throw it or otherwise waste a virtually perfect beverage and then sue for damages. Its like a server spilling hot gravy on—- oh wait. nevermind…
12 Michael // Mar 22, 2008 at 8:45 am
Nowadays you have to make everything damn near stupid-proof because of stupid people like this. Back in the days of natural selection non of these people would have made it past puberty. If you’re really that damned stupid, you’re only slowing down the progression of humanity and would be more helpful to the rest of us if you just offed yourself.
13 ronilb // Mar 27, 2008 at 11:59 am
omg its coffee its supposed to be hot..why is that so hard to understand… i dont care whether she was driving not driving or the coffee was kept a couple of degrees hotter than usual…its COFFEE… please…i cant believe that any of you would justify this lawsuit the only person that qualified to be sued is her grandson…if he knew how to drive she probably wouldnt have spilled it on herself…GEEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
14 Brien // Mar 27, 2008 at 1:48 pm
So for all the people who are saying, “BUT OMGZORS! Teh ceoffee peeple are sying u hav to hav coffee at 195-205 degreeeez”, I challenge you to go out, get a cup of coffee that is at 195-205 degrees, and drink it.
Thats right, you can’t. Why? Because coffee isn’t drinkable at that temperature. It will give you third degree burns on the inside of your mouth. Sounds fun, huh!
No one disputes that coffee should be hot. The dispute is should said coffee be SO hot that it can give third degree burns.
Also, please note that the jury DID find that she was 20% at fault, so its not as if she wasn’t held accountable for her actions.
As for your person that you know Paul, why was he throwing ice out on the front in the first place? How is he not negligible for that?! His direct actions (throwing ice onto the sidewalk) caused her damages.
15 ronilb // Apr 1, 2008 at 9:37 am
whatever brien thats why you let it cool off before u drink it everyone knows that… i used work in the food industry and even kept at the recommended tempature most people dont start drinking their coffee as soon as they pour it why………because it’ll burn their tongue!!!!DUH
16 Nige // Apr 6, 2008 at 9:53 am
Brien (et al),
I’m not one who trolls for the sake of it over peoples inability to spell etc, but your general lack of coherance and grasp of your mother tongue just pulls what tiny shreds of credibility you did have down around your no doubt hairy feet. It makes me sad that I agree with you that the ice throwing guy does show a degree of responsibility, but he is negligent, not negligible. Negligible refers to quantities so small that they can be ignored. Examples would be your intelect, ability to put forward a coherant argument or level of gene pool resilliance.
I really really hope that you and the other slack jawed yokels posting on this subject are having a laugh at our expense and drawing the rest of us in with your pastiche of a bunch of stupid wining morons. Sadly I don’t believe this is the case and I do not so much pity you, as resent you having the oxegyn of our collective attentino on this subject, as resent you having the oxygen of oxygen.
Nil Desperandum!
BTW, I had to check back the dates of your posts as I couldn’t believe that none of them were posted on April 1st
17 Brien // Apr 6, 2008 at 4:06 pm
Nige
If all you can find is 1 word that I use to “illustrate” my lack of intelligence, then you sir, are an idiot and your opinions mean jack shit.
Have a good day
Ronil -
If coffee is supposed to be held at that temperature, but then “cooled off” to drink, whats the point? That doesn’t even make sense!
18 Kris // Jun 5, 2008 at 7:58 pm
Kevin- You are a dumbass.
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