Dumb Lawsuits

There’s about a thousand other ass puns I could write here, but why turn this blog into another Gawker website? Let’s just get to this story about an attorney bringing his donkey to court as a witness.

DALLAS, Texas (AP) - Faced with complaints that his donkey was too loud, Dallas attorney Gregory Shamoun decided to bring his case directly to the court: He had the donkey testify.

Buddy the donkey appeared in court Wednesday. He walked to the bench and stared at the jury, the picture of a gentle, well-mannered creature and not the loud, aggressive animal he had been accused of being.

Shamoun was in a dispute with oilman John Cantrell, who had complained to the city about a storage shed Shamoun was building in his backyard in Dallas. Cantrell said Shamoun retaliated by bringing the donkey from his ranch and putting him in the backyard.

Man, who would think that a donkey could come to someone’s rescue for reasons other than dinner?

Well, don’t get too excited. The donkey didn’t exactly save him. According to the story, the neighbors settled their dispute before the jury could come to a consensus. No one listens to the donkeys, poor donkeys.