Dumb Lawsuits

One of the most stupid concepts on the face of the planet is celebrity. People who are famous for being famous. In this world, you should have to be famous because you can do something — write, act, cook a waffle tasty enough to bring grown men to their knees. Here we have two women that can do something, but one bothers the other because of their name.

According to The Smoking Gun, professional songstress and nutjob Mariah Carey has filed a lawsuit against professional pornstar and nutjob Mary Carey for violating the trademark on her stage name.

The suit actually claims that the porn star is infringing the singer’s name by saying, “Each mark consists of two words; each mark shares the identifcal second word; and each mark begins with a word that is a woman’s name and that begins with the identical first syallable MAR-.” Thanks for spelling that out for us. Did either lawyer bother to point out that they both dress like coked-up whores?

These eery similarities are bound to cause some problems for the general public who are “likely to mistakenly associate the goods offered by Applicant under the mark MARY CAREY,” according to the lawsuit. Of course, if this were DREW Carey, there wouldn’t be any mistaking of goods.

Thanks to Mariah Carey’s lawsuit, other celebrities have filed similar encroachment suits against their porn star counterparts including Tom Spanks, Pull Newman and Patrick Spewart.